MARRIED, SINGLE &COMPLICATED - Single Affair

"There's no way i'm doing all those dishes" Ego lashed out 

"Well, if you are tired of doing dishes, park your load to your husband's house no one is tying you here"!

This was her life a constant reminder that she was due for marriage 

"Am I the manufacturer of husbands"? She hissed

"Jisike Aunty Gwegwelina, jisike; just keep doing dishes in your father's house" her mother spat 

Her daily routine included, going to work, going for weekly services on church days, coming back home to tend to her parents and doing the dishes! It seemed like her mother knew how frustrating that task was to her hence the delegation.

Her younger sister was married. Married to something you couldn't even call a man. "Well half bread is better than puff puff" her mother would always say whenever she brought up the topic of her sister's frustration.

"Judge Judy start somewhere, you too bring half cup of chin chin as a man before you start cursing out someone else's husband"! her mother would also say.

Her problems were so much she couldn't manage like her sister was doing, how can someone leave a home like this (their family house was located in Ikoyi) for Magodo! What happened to retaining the Ikoyi status or managing Maryland and Lekki?. Her sister shuttled in buses and keke napep "I can't " she shuddered at the thought. She loved comfort, was used to it and it irritated her parents she had chased away meaningful suitors simply because they looked poor. 

"why will a guy not have a car?" she had asked her sister one day

 "all fingers are not equal ego"

 "anyway, if i have to wait long to marry my kind of man, then so be it" she hissed

"Just keep blabbing, when you turn 30, and you are still not married, i'll have you thrown out of my house or married off to the Dibia in the village. At 29 all you do is eat, watch these meaningless series and waste my water to wash that sponge you call natural hair" her father said  angrily.

She knew it was only a matter of time before they reminded her again. Even though her parents were wealthy and  her father was a business man to the core, he had to learn a trade and after he had been settled by his master, started off his own business then went ahead to get  himself educated so he could fit in. Her mother who had been the oldest of  four children to the famous Akara seller in Onitsha main market had dropped out of school, and returned to school after having she and her sister.  Both her parents had fallen  in love and struggled to build all they had.

 This story was an old tale as they both reminded her daily on the importance of starting small. Even though her sister's home was filled with love, the poor status of her husband wasn't worth the marriage. She picked up her back pack and headed for the gym. 
"At least i get to start a new job tomorrow thank heavens" she sighed


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"Happy birthday Celiaaaa...Wake up wake up" went the programmed voice. Celia rolled on her side so she could turn off the voice box machine; stood up, stretched a bit and went to the corner of the room to start her yoga exercise. Her phone rang

"Happy birthday baby girl" her mother's shrill voice rang in her head

"Thank you mum" she replied.

She went ahead to pray for her..."This year i'm going to gather my friends for your wedding my darling, its going to be 29 to be remembered" 

Amen ma... Amen... "Alright I'll talk to you later I need to get ready for work" she hung up

Celia didn't have any problems in life. She had a good job; well not so good but then, she was gainfully employed. She lived at her uncle's therefore, rent dues were dodged. Her only bother was this marriage issue. She didn't seem to worry about this a few years ago, but on waking up today, she suddenly realized she had no single friends

"Calm down and stay with a man" Tonia her friend had told her barely few months after she got married.

She knew part of the problems were hers but she had realized too late. If only she had known the importance of being submissive in all her past relationships, she probably would have been married by now. As her mother's only child, she was pampered to a fault. She saw no reason to be respectful neither did the word curtsy mean a thing to her.

Right now,  all she had to do was meet a man, then play the nice and amazing woman till she got the ring. With the way her other siblings were planning weddings and popping out babies, she was tired of being the errand girl. It was a competition, since she was from a polygamous home and even though her father died two years ago, her step siblings still had reason to stay in touch with her. She also wanted to be the bride, wife, pregnant woman or nursing mother who sent others on errands.

" I am ready to do this" she said to herself as she headed for the bathroom.


**********************************************

Jo had just returned from the gym

 "I hope this gym thing works for you" Lisa blurted out

His issues were complicated. 32 and unmarried yet he had the worst girlfriend any man could ever date. Lisa had been his college sweetheart, he was too shy to walk up to any other woman partly because he was obese and now he was gradually losing his game in the bedroom. He knew she was cheating but he just couldn't let go of her where would he start from? he thought to himself. This relationship had never brought anything but trouble to him his self esteem had died and he knew in a short while, he'd be dealing with bigger troubles.

"Get yourself enrolled in a gym" his sister had told him

 "I'm sure the gym will do a lot of good to me and us" Jo came back to reality 

 "That's your business. Did you just notice you were headed for death's alley? " Lisa hissed.

 Here we go again! he had jogged all the way to the gym which was three blocks  from his house he was working twice as hard as he should and he even got compliments from his gym companions yet, this Lisa would never appreciate him. 

" Did you even notice i lost eight pounds?" he asked

 "Eight pounds only? take a look at yourself  the mirror is just by the closet" she spat

 He wanted to lose weight not just because of Lisa, he knew this was over. Six years and she had never been his peace. He wanted to lose weight for himself; he had to. He was going to shed some weight, focus on work and break off this thing he had with her

 "I'll get there Liz, if you can't be patient with me, meanwhile, the door is wide open...." he said

 " thank you Lord! i just needed you to initiate this break up, at least no one will accuse me of walking away when you needed me most" she replied as she banged the door on her way out.


******************************************************

Lisa was infuriated by his words 

"Damn that bastard" she kicked

She had been with him for six years. Well, not because she loved him, but mostly because he was solely responsible for all her bills. she loved the good life "who doesn't ?" she had lost her parents in a motor accident and as the oldest, was left to cater for two younger siblings two years after graduation, Jo had gotten her a job, paid for an apartment and placed on allowance. 

Jo was not all bad, but she knew there was no way they would end up married. His sexual prowess wasn't top notch but she had to kill his self esteem so she could walk away peacefully without having any guilt. Jo was a workaholic who spent most of his time eating late, drinking and doing all sorts now he looked like a balloon. Partly her fault- he always complained she never made out time to cater to his needs. She had plans, she had met a better man. Re-mi the tall, dark, adorable-kind. He wasn't as rich as Mr. lover boy, but she liked him still

"Now i can send him the lengthy break up text i had prepared all along" she hissed.

why did she hate him this much? Although she had never liked him, she thought the love would grow as they progressed he had proposed twice and she had declined each proposal,

"You don't look too good" her sister said as she opened the door for her

 "Yea; i had a fight with Jo and he broke it off"

 "what? did you apologize at least? Jo is calm i'm sure you got him angry" Rebecca replied

"Well, it was long overdue, i should start my life Jo isn't the only man in the world" Liz muttered

 "Twice Liz, twice; that dude proposed and you rejected him. We are what we are today, because he looked after us all" Rebecca tried to convince her sister

"Oh shut up! i took care of you not Jo, i gave you food, shelter, name it. I don't want to hear a word of this" she replied fiercely

"I'm sorry" Becca sighed

 "Can i get some food please..." Damian her brother walked in; Rebecca stood to get some food for Damian who had walked back to his room

"I don't want Damian hearing any of this" Lisa warned.



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Monica hissed as she got down from the taxi. This was the norm for her. These taxis always succeeded in denting her very expensive dresses. Why chief would refuse buying her choice car baffled her. She walked into the office to met the cleaners still doing their job. 

She looked out side the window and thought about her life.  This Aristo life had paid off.  She had a good apartment- one her parents couldn't afford. Lived large and even got this job from one of her too many older boyfriends. Even though she was tired of living the life, who would foot her bills? she had a good job but she had high taste of living. This job wasn't even enough to pay for her cab on days when she didn't feel like riding in her not- so-classy car ( how many girls had a Toyota corolla? yet she wished she had something better- An SUV maybe) ,neither would the salary pay for her expensive way of life. Dating older men was the way for her until she met a younger rich guy. She turned to look for her ringing phone;It was her mother.

"mama otutu oma" ( meaning: good morning Mama)

"greet your self Monica!" her mother spat

Monica wondered the reason for the outburst. "I  sent you some money mama; tell Ugo to go withdraw it for you using your atm card" ( ugo was the boy who lived with her parents)

"Monica! you are my only surviving child. I do not want your money; i want a grandchild. marry and give me grandchildren" her mother cried

Monica went mute

"I know you are there...whatever the case may be, i want you to decide on who to marry. Papa Afor's son- Chidi would come back to the village next month from the USA; come back home and meet Him. I even have a few young men coming around to ask for your hand in marriage. So get prepared. I'm tired of waiting for you to bring a man"

"Mama, relax; i'll marry in God's time"

"When"? by the time you turn 35? tufiakwa you are already 30... do something fast fast"

"mama i have heard you"

"I want to see you in the village by next month" her mother hung up

Finally, someone from the USA was coming to ask for her hand in marriage; it wasn't the village champions her mother had introduced her to the last time. She'd go; and see where this led. After all, going abroad would pave way for  better living.

to be continued...